In Spite Of

“I know what would help the air pollution during inversions,” Cousin Ralph told George. “Close down BYU and the U and keep all those cars from going up there.” Cousin Ralph is only one of our relatives who spouts wisdom that causes us to shake our heads.

Another relative who hates hippies and environmentalists is on a one-man crusade for the repeal of the 19^th Amendment. “Giving women the vote caused all these bleeding-heart social programs that are killing the economy.”

My brother, Dooby, insists that Intelligent Design should be taught in science classes. In his eyes, evolution is  liberal propaganda, and implying an Intelligent Designer does not cross the boundary of teaching religion in the public schools.

Cousin Krafti has poof the birth certificate President Obama produced is a fake. She emailed me her evidence of his true birthplace: A photo of a dirt road with a hand-lettered sign naming a village in Kenya. Underneath the name it reads, “Birthplace of Barack Obama.”

Our niece, Rudi, regularly blasts anyone on Facebook who posts anything supportive of aid to the poor.

Because we love our relatives, we try not to argue with them about their political beliefs which are more sacred to them than religion. If we do offer our own thoughts, our relatives roll their eyes and barely suppress smirks. Obviously, they feel the same way about our opinions as we do about theirs.

We like our friends because they are bright enough to think the way we do. We love our family despite their delusions. Apparently, they feel the same way about us.